One of those times was last Friday, which was “Take Your Dog to Work Day.”
I felt down-in-the-dumps; excluded. For one thing, I was out of town that day. Secondly, I don’t have a job and thus, don’t go to work.
And to top it off, I don’t have a dog. Three strikes and I was out.
But all was not lost. I spent last week at Boy Scout summer camp in the Sierra. With the exception of one early morning, when the temperature dropped to 35 degrees, the weather was beautiful.
And I felt exhilarated all week, one reason being I wasn’t the oldest human in camp. No-sir-ee. One guy was a year older than I am, but I aim on catching him before he turns 80.
While our small troop had only six boys away at camp, Patterson Troop 81 will be taking over a dozen next week to a camp up near Willits. So … quiet times ahead.
Upon returning last weekend, storm clouds rolled in. Late Sunday I suggested to HM (Housemate) that she water the plants in the front yard before it started raining. Her reply was a blank look.
Fortunately, no one from Patterson was murdered when we were away having fun. Just a kidnapping case to keep our officers in blue on their toes. And upon returning home, I learned that Patterson’s chief of police, Tori Hughes, has become a candidate for the office of county sheriff. That rumor had persisted for some time, and of course I missed the announcement.
THE OLD DAYS
With time on my hands at camp, I got to thinking of times past. You also may remember:
• Learning to drive with a stick shift.
• When an auto’s back windows only rolled half-way down.
• When we learned Palmer penmanship.
• When we put mud on bee stings.
• When watermelons tasted better when pilfered.
• Croquet was a good summer game.
• When CPR was called artificial respiration.
• When we pushed reel-type lawnmowers.
• Putting limburger cheese on car manifolds.
• When the cuffs of blue jeans were turned up at least a couple of rolls.
• Shining shoes.
• Using a ruler in class, as well as a fountain pen and ink well.
• When we rode bikes with no hands, and even backwards.
• We watched Esther Williams towel off in movies.
• Learning about anatomy from National Geographic magazines.
• When Studebaker came out with its two-way design.
• Reading Burma Shave signs.
• Every kid owned a small pencil sharpener.
• When gym class began with numerous calisthenics.
• When razor blades were resharpened.
• When youngsters repaired flat tires on their bikes and even replaced broken spokes.
• Using a spinner (steering knob) when driving.
If you can’t remember the above, those of us who can consider you to be a “young sprout.”
E-MAIL OF THE WEEK
Oh, there were so many. I received over 300 e-mails in my week away, but choose to pass along only these fabulous quotes.
“A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.” -- Emo Philips
“We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea.” – W.H. Auden
“If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.” – Johnny Carson
FOR THE SPORTS FAN
Relief pitching, that’s all the Giants and A’s need.
Well OK, the Giants could use some hitting as well.
AND FINALLY …
Last week’s mention of the reduced width of toilet tissue rolls brought in another revolution.
Not only are the rolls narrower, but also are smaller around.
Would you call that a rip-off?
Ron Swift is the editor/publisher of emeritus of the Patterson Irrigator. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org